Friday, October 30, 2009

...About Finding Out Your Worst Suspicions Are True

Now I know why I have been a mad and angry person for the past few years.
I keep flipping out over the smallest things.
My old friends would know that I don't normally get angry easily.
Nowadays I get angry at the snap of a finger.

Today it has presented itself to me.
What made me the angry bitch that I am today.

I'm at a place where I don't really want to be in the first place.
I'm here because I can.
I'm here because I thought it's not a bad place to be anyways.
But the future is so vague now.

So so vague.
I'm so disappointed.

You put you future in other people's hands.
People who were so sure about what they were doing, they thought they were the best.
But along the way, the plans keep changing.
You realize they didn't really plan anything yet.
There's nothing concrete to look at.

Then you think, is this really happening?
Can this actually happen?

Then you find out, it's not happening.
At this point of time, they are not sure when it can happen.
They are running out of ideas on how to make it happen.

It's like, there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

But in my case, they haven't even built the tunnel yet.

But at least now, today, after all the questions, I can exhale.

I know where we stand.


I'm going to live like I'm dying.

I was angry because I could easily be someplace else doing things I'm actually passionate about instead of forcing myself to built this tunnel that keeps collapsing. And that people who actually want to be there aren't even bothered to try and built the tunnel.

So That's What I Think.

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